{"id":2082,"date":"2020-12-09T21:06:16","date_gmt":"2020-12-10T04:06:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/?p=2082"},"modified":"2020-12-09T21:12:29","modified_gmt":"2020-12-10T04:12:29","slug":"as-i-recall","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/2020\/12\/09\/as-i-recall\/","title":{"rendered":"As I recall"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

prompt: “Your protagonist is a liar. Write a story where he\/she tells the perfect lie, so he\/she thinks. But will people believe\u00a0the lie?<\/em>“<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I <\/a>lie. Everyone does. Those who say they don\u2019t aren\u2019t paying attention. The cashier asks how they\u2019re doing and they say \u201cfine.\u201d To answer truthfully would be uncomfortable. \u201cFirst, I\u2019m paying way too much for this ice cream my waist doesn\u2019t need but my sugar addiction requires. Second, the screaming toddler in the next lane is reminding why some animals eat their young; and last, the soft rock ‘muzak’ playing in this store makes me want to stab someone.\u201d So, they lie for no good reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I opt for brutal honesty in situations where lies get me nothing. \u201cHow are you?\u201d they say. \u201cTerrible, thanks.\u201d \u201cDid you find everything ok?\u201d they ask. \u201cNot at all. You\u2019ve rearranged the frozen aisle three times in the last four months and made it hard to find the ice cream I need to fill my addiction.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I lie, it is with reason, and not a small amount of research. I\u2019ve learned the best lies are light on the details, because the truth is too. It\u2019s the way we remember things. We don\u2019t know what song was playing on the radio when we drove to pick up our sweetheart the first time. Not even the calendar date unless we make an effort to commit it to memory. We might remember the day of the week; perhaps what we did if it led to something later. Of course, that\u2019s only half memory. The rest is our imagination filling in the missing details. That\u2019s the thing about memory, it\u2019s plastic. I use this to great advantage when it\u2019s necessary to lie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMarisol, I need your help to get this project out the door. We\u2019re down a couple people due to illness and leave.\u201d Totally true. \u201cWe\u2019ve got sixty days, and I\u2019ll only need around half your time.\u201d Well, the first half of that was true.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSteve,\u201d she looked at me with an annoyed expression then down to her phone. She was always fiddling with her phone. \u201cI don\u2019t know that I can. Your project isn\u2019t even on my radar\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet’s make this work.\u201d How do I get a yes from her?<\/em> \u201cOnce we finish this project, I can devote some time to getting your projects out.\u201d Total lie. Important, though. Without her help my team will miss our deadline and I\u2019ll be out a bonus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs long as it\u2019s hour for hour, we can deal.\u201d She looked me in the eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAt least.\u201d Sixty days is long enough to fog the memory over to vagaries. \u201cWe\u2019ll help you get your next project out on schedule. It\u2019s six months out, right?\u201d Nope, not happening, total falsehood, but she bought it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is.\u201d She reached out a hand, and I shook it. \u201cDeal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was time to create my own false memory. If I can convince myself, it\u2019s easier to convince others. What was it I said? We\u2019ll do our best to help your project, as scheduling allows.<\/em> I replayed the conversation in my mind a couple times, with my little substitution and then let it go. I\u2019ve never needed a word-for-word recital, just the gist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My project finished ahead of time. No small part of that was due to Marisol\u2019s help. Of course, her name isn\u2019t on my bonus check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her entire team pitched in, making short work of it, even as they racked up 200 hours. She would expect the same from my team, but we had back-to-back work for the next nine months. We had a project queue that would have kept four teams busy, one member in the hospital, and another taking maternity leave. Too few people for too much work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSteve,\u201d Marisol was playing with her phone again. \u201cLet\u2019s schedule a meeting for Monday so we can talk about when you and your team can help us out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUh, Marisol.\u201d I pointed to the board behind my desk with our project schedule. \u201cHave you looked at this? Darryl\u2019s still out sick, and we\u2019re not sure he\u2019s coming back. Stacy\u2019s on maternity leave for the next six weeks, and HR keeps denying our request for new hires.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, I saw your schedule.\u201d Her jaw tightened. \u201cIt\u2019s the same schedule that was up there when you came to my team for help, and we did.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spread my hands. \u201cYou did. And we appreciate it, Marisol, really. But we\u2019re barely keeping our heads above water here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She crossed her arms. \u201cYou said you would help us out, at least<\/em> hour for hour. I\u2019m cashing my chips. Two hundred hours over the next ninety days. I don\u2019t care if it\u2019s you, or one person from your team, or your whole team.\u201d She tilted her head toward me. \u201cAfter all, it\u2019s no less than my team did for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMarisol, I think we\u2019re remembering things differently. As I recall, I said we’d do our best to help, depending on scheduling<\/em>.\u201d I put on my best disappointed face. \u201cI really want to help, but I thought we’d have Darryl back, and a couple new hires.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marisol stabbed at her phone. I tried to ask her what she was doing, but no sooner had I opened my mouth than she raised a finger and \u201ctutted\u201d at me. Who the hell does she think she is? My kindergarten teacher?<\/em> I took a breath, preparing to let her have it, when my voice came from her phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026 I\u2019ll only need around half your time\u2026\u201d then hers, \u201cSteve, I don\u2019t know that I can. Your project\u2026\u201d she fiddled with the phone again. Her voice, \u201cAs long as it\u2019s hour for hour, we can deal.\u201d Oh god, she recorded the whole thing.<\/em> My voice again, \u201cAt least. We\u2019ll help you get your next project out on schedule.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marisol stopped the playback and played with her phone once more. \u201cI’m not sure if you have a faulty memory, or you\u2019re an insufferable liar, but I\u2019ve seen it before with you. You\u2019ll say one thing and do another, while blaming the other person for mis-remembering.\u201d She laughed. \u201cYou go around gas-lighting everyone and expect no one to catch on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I couldn\u2019t think of anything to say even though I kept trying to start. I must have looked like a fish. She held her phone at her side. Was she always playing with her phone? Or always recording?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can tell from your schedule that there\u2019s no way you can keep your word and not bomb out on your own work.\u201d She raised her phone. \u201cI\u2019m going to HR with this. Besides, I have a new hire starting next week.\u201d Her eyes were\u2026 sad? \u201cI pity you. If you paid any attention to your team, you’d realize they all want you gone. They\u2019re sick of taking the blame when things go wrong and getting none of the credit when they go right.\u201d Her parting shot as she left my office was \u201csee you again never.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The visit from HR, along with security to escort me out came an hour later. I brushed up my r\u00e9sum\u00e9 and started the search. I ran into a former co-worker who told me they rolled my team into Marisol\u2019s, and how happy the team was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The search wasn\u2019t going well. Engineers talk, rumors spread, and I have become a pariah. All those people calling me a liar? Pot, meet kettle. I considered constant brutal honesty. “No, I won\u2019t help you, you help me.”<\/em> Nah, that\u2019d never work. For now, I\u2019ve resolved to watch out for recording devices.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

prompt: “Your protagonist is a liar. Write a story where he\/she tells the perfect lie, so he\/she thinks. But will people believe\u00a0the lie?“ I lie. Everyone does. Those who say they don\u2019t aren\u2019t paying attention. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[208],"tags":[210,209],"class_list":["post-2082","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-trunk-stories","tag-fiction","tag-short-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pxT7i-xA","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2082","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2082"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2082\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2085,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2082\/revisions\/2085"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2082"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2082"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2082"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}