{"id":2188,"date":"2021-01-09T15:22:34","date_gmt":"2021-01-09T22:22:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/?p=2188"},"modified":"2021-01-10T15:47:44","modified_gmt":"2021-01-10T22:47:44","slug":"take-what-you-can-get","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/2021\/01\/09\/take-what-you-can-get\/","title":{"rendered":"Take What You Can Get"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

prompt: Write about a character who is incapable of telling even the smallest lie or half-truth….<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

available at Reedsy<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn stood in the hall, the smell of disinfectant sharp in her nose, the constant beeps and sounds of the hospital distracting. After being told for days to wait, the doctor had finally cleared her husband for a visit. This was to be the first time in months she would see him awake after the accident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The nurse stopped her, his hand on her shoulder. \u201cI should warn you; he may not seem the same as you remember him. Doctor Vishal says that after an injury like that, he may be someone else, someone new. Every experience shapes our personality, especially traumatic ones.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn nodded. \u201cYes, he made that clear to me. He said Carl was emotionally stunted and a bit . . . blunt right now. I can handle it.\u201d She entered the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carl raised his head and laid back down with an, \u201cOh, it\u2019s you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you not happy to see me?\u201d she asked. \u201cI can leave and come back later if you\u2019re not up to it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI like that you\u2019re here,\u201d Carl said, \u201cbut I knew you\u2019d be coming anyway. I\u2019m curious to see who else will turn up though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you know how long you were out?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe doctor told me, but I can\u2019t remember.\u201d He shrugged and scratched at his head. \u201cI guess it just wasn\u2019t important enough to remember.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou were out for three months,\u201d she said. \u201cEveryone\u2019s come and gone, and most won\u2019t be able to come back for at least another week or two.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMakes sense. I\u2019d probably wait a while to see if I\u2019m really okay before I visit.\u201d He struggled to sit up. \u201cIt\u2019s not uncommon for patients to seem to be doing better right before they die. Why visit the hospital when you can wait for the funeral to make an appearance?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy would you say that?\u201d Jenn helped him sit up. \u201cYou\u2019re going to do some physical therapy and walk out of here in no time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s far outside the realm of probability,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ll most likely leave in a wheelchair and it\u2019ll take a few months before I can do much walking, if ever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn took his hand in hers. \u201cI refuse to believe that. You\u2019re a fighter, you\u2019ve always fought through.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always faked it,\u201d he said. \u201cI can\u2019t anymore. The facts are there and I\u2019m not in a position to dispute them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo what, you\u2019re not even going to try to get better?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course I will. Whatever the science says. If it\u2019s likely to be beneficial to my physical recovery, yes.\u201d He pursed his lips. \u201cIf it\u2019s just to make me feel better emotionally or mentally then no. It\u2019s a waste of my time and energy, both of which are limited.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can you say that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe truth is the truth. Whatever you might feel doesn\u2019t change that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd what about your feelings?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have none. I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve had any real emotions since I woke up. Curiosity, sure. Happy, sad, up, down, love, hate, any of that? None.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI love you, Carl.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know,\u201d he said. He pursed his lips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat are you thinking?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019d rather not tell you,\u201d he said. \u201cI may not feel anything, but I don\u2019t want to hurt your feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease,\u201d she said, her eyes brimming with tears. \u201cJust tell me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou should divorce me. I know what it takes to make you happy, but I\u2019m no longer capable of that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tears drew tracks down her face. \u201cYou don\u2019t know that it\u2019ll be like that forever,\u201d she said. \u201cYou might recover.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFrom what the doctor said, the chances of that are slim. Even if it happens it could take years. During that time, you should find someone that makes you happy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t have any feelings then why do you care whether I\u2019m happy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He laid back down. \u201cIt seems like the fair thing. I\u2019m pretty sure I loved you, and you made me happy. I remember that. I also remember the times you annoyed me, pissed me off, or just got on my nerves, and how often I did the same to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut on the whole, I think you made me more happy than unhappy. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s fair of me to expect you to stay miserable and stick around hoping for a miracle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn kissed his forehead. \u201cYou may not be able to feel right now, but you don\u2019t get to decide my life for me. I\u2019ll stay with you for as long as it takes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s your decision. It will make it easier to get to and from therapy to have a built-in ride. In all fairness, though, you should know that I still require assistance to get on and off the toilet, or into the shower chair. The therapist says with some work I should be able to do all that myself in six to eight weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d she patted his hand, \u201cyou will, and more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI probably won\u2019t be able to hold a job,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m too abnormal at this point. The nurses talk, and not always quietly enough. Some of them are uncomfortable around me. That wouldn\u2019t translate well to the work world.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat about me?\u201d Jenn asked. \u201cHow am I feeling right now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He studied her face. \u201cI don\u2019t know. I can\u2019t tell. I see tears, but I don\u2019t know if they\u2019re sad or happy or pain tears. Your face is just . . . you. I\u2019m damaged goods. Before you get any older you should leave me and find someone else; take what you can get out of this life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou have no idea how much I missed you, and in how many ways.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPhysically too, I would guess?\u201d Carl asked. \u201cIf you stick around until the next nurse\u2019s shift, she helps me shower. I overheard her talking about picking up couples. Something about no worries about commitment. I would find pleasure in sex with her and you at the same time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou . . . have no filter, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe? I wasn\u2019t going to tell you to divorce me until you asked.\u201d He sighed. \u201cThere\u2019s no time for playing coy, I may still drop dead from an aneurysm tonight. The doctor said that was a risk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCarl, I want you to do something for me.\u201d Jenn leaned in close and looked into his eyes, her hands holding his face in a soft embrace. \u201cTell me everything\u2019s going to be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t. There\u2019s no way I could know that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust lie to me,\u201d she said, \u201cand tell me it\u2019s going to be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPlease.\u201d Tears once again ran down her cheeks. \u201cSay the words, \u2018Everything will be okay.\u2019 Can you do that for me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEverything,\u201d he began, then faltered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTry again, baby, try again. \u2018Everything will be okay.\u2019 Say the words.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEverything will be what it is. Weird, I can\u2019t say it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan\u2019t, or won\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan\u2019t. Hold something up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn held up a cup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a cup.\u201d His eyebrows knotted. \u201cI wanted to call it a dolphin, but I couldn\u2019t. I knew the words I wanted to say in my head, but that\u2019s not what came out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She held up a pen. \u201cLet\u2019s try smaller. Tell me this is a pencil.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not a pencil. Wait . . . that\u2019s a pen. I mean, it\u2019s a pen.\u201d Carl pursed his lips. \u201cThat\u2019s odd. I need to tell Doctor Vishal about this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, you can\u2019t lie even to make me feel better?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhile it would come in handy, it seems that I\u2019m unable to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you think of my hair?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMakes you look older. Your old style was better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAshley thought it was cute. You remember her: the neighbor you hated?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t hate her. She\u2019s hot and I didn\u2019t want to be tempted like that to cheat on you. It was easier to pretend we didn\u2019t get along than to be left alone with her. She kept hitting on me whenever you weren\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDidn\u2019t want to bruise your ego.\u201d Carl shrugged. \u201cWe both know she\u2019s hotter than you, but I wasn\u2019t with you just for your looks. Bringing that up would have triggered your insecurities and I didn\u2019t want to deal with that, so I took the easy way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd what about bruising my ego now?\u201d she asked. \u201cDid you think about how I would feel when you told me that Ashley is hotter than me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he said, \u201cI didn\u2019t. I apologize for my oversight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, did you ever cheat on me with Ashley?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. Not with anyone. I didn\u2019t cheat with your cousin either, even though she offered, and I was tempted. I thought about it and fantasized about it some, but never acted on it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy cousin is gorgeous. I guess that helps my ego some.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m getting tired. Maybe you should go now and come back when I\u2019m more rested.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn leaned down and gave him a soft kiss. \u201cI\u2019ll do that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, you should call James. You like hanging out with him. I know you still love him and maybe you\u2019ll realize he can make you happy and you\u2019ll divorce me for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn\u2019s eyebrows shot up. \u201cYou what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHuh, I meant to stop at you like hanging out with him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAt least I\u2019ll always know your motives.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI could only fool you sometimes before, anyway.\u201d Carl slammed his fist down on his thigh. \u201cUgh! I wanted to say, \u2018I could never fool you, anyway,\u2019 but that\u2019s not what came out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI love you,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI find your company a welcome distraction,\u201d he replied, \u201cbut tell your brother and his wife I\u2019d rather not be bothered with theirs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenn smiled. \u201cI\u2019ll take what I can get.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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