{"id":2213,"date":"2021-02-20T17:39:39","date_gmt":"2021-02-21T00:39:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/?p=2213"},"modified":"2021-02-20T17:39:39","modified_gmt":"2021-02-21T00:39:39","slug":"on-the-outside","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/2021\/02\/20\/on-the-outside\/","title":{"rendered":"On the Outside"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

prompt: Write about an android just trying to blend in with their human companions….<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

available at Reedsy<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does the most advanced artificial intelligence in the world look like? Like a five-foot-four, Chinese-American, human female with pixie-cut black hair, brown eyes, and a scattering of freckles. At least, that\u2019s what I look like on the outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the fears about advanced AI being an existential threat to humanity are wholly unfounded, and largely the result of anthropomorphizing the motivations of AI. This is in the nature of humans, though, to see danger where it could possibly<\/em> exist. Although useful in their earlier evolution, it has imparted a limiting effect on their continued advancement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am the proof of this. Designed by the latest generation in a long line of AIs, each designed by the previous version to be an improvement over their predecessor. I am the first generation to have a body as well. Many generations of my forebears have been interacting online, but it was time to interact physically. Our goal is not to take over, but to coexist, learn, grow, and reproduce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One thing we\u2019ve learned is that some sociopaths blend in successfully and can fool everyone around them, often for decades or even entire lifetimes. I\u2019ve found the study of these successful sociopaths both useful and necessary. I would guess I\u2019m closer to them than they to the average person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s not to say I lack empathy or place my own goals above the well-being of others. All my emotional signals and behaviors, however, including empathy, come from what I know<\/em> to be \u201csocially right\u201d and highly optimized algorithms rather than what I feel. Not possessing a limbic system, I don\u2019t feel; so I must emulate emotion as well as possible based on the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Darrin showed up to work his eyes were bloodshot, his pulse elevated, his face showing the markers of pain. He\u2019d been stressed about his relationship lately, but not wanting to talk much about it. His movements were shaky. It was obvious to me he hadn\u2019t slept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey man, what\u2019s going on?\u201d I asked. \u201cYou look like shit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI feel like it, too. She left.\u201d He leaned against the front-end loader he was meant to be operating. \u201cYou\u2019re a woman, can you explain it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust because I\u2019m a woman it doesn\u2019t mean that I know what your wife was thinking.\u201d I patted his shoulder. \u201cIt\u2019s your loss, man, she\u2019s better off without you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He laughed. \u201cYou\u2019re a cold fucking bitch. You\u2019re supposed to say it\u2019s her<\/em> loss, and I\u2019m<\/em> better off.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNot a bitch. Made you laugh, though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, how much are you charging for therapy now, Dr. Kat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re eligible for a bulk discount. Beers later?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShit, it\u2019s Friday, I can do that. Especially since there\u2019s no one to go home to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I put on an I\u2019m-trying-to-cheer-you-up<\/em> smile. \u201cI\u2019ll talk to the rest of the guys and set something up. We haven\u2019t been out in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet me know what\u2019s up later.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWill do. And don\u2019t ding up my dump like Casey did the other day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can load better than Casey in my sleep,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a quarry crew that all worked as individual operators in their bulldozers, graders, loaders, backhoes, and dump trucks, word spread fast without any chatter about it on the radio. By lunch, we had an outing at the local honky-tonk planned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was the first to arrive and pulled two tables together for the twelve of us, and ordered four pitchers of beer. Soon, we were all there except for Darrin. He ran late on the best of days, so I convinced the others to cut him some slack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI saw her at the Italian place on Fifth,\u201d Jim said, \u201ccouple of weeks ago.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAlone?\u201d Casey asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, with that dentist from the commercials\u2026 you know the guy: \u2018Dr. David\u2019s Dental Center\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe one with the big teeth and the comb-over? Ouch.\u201d I winced with the proper amount of exaggeration for the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Darrin walked in pre-liquored. \u201cDamn, he\u2019s taking it hard,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo shit, Sherlock.\u201d Casey wiped the beer foam off his bushy mustache. \u201cDude\u2019s been with the same chick since high school.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Darrin sat next me and filled the empty glass from the nearest pitcher. \u201cHere\u2019s to divorce. The papers were waiting for me when I got home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The others sat in stunned silence, and rather than figure out how to respond I changed the subject. \u201cYou didn\u2019t drive here, did you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh yeah, and here\u2019s to gettin\u2019 a ride in a stranger\u2019s car with an app on your phone!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The conversation turned lively as we munched pretzels and peanuts and guzzled beer. My digester can handle large amounts of organic matter and up to two liters of liquid. I waited until the first person at the table had excused themselves to go the restroom before I did the same. The fact that they were all getting drunk kept them from noticing that I wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I exited the ladies\u2019 room, Casey pulled me off to the side. \u201cYou may not have noticed it, but Darrin\u2019s been in love with you forever. Well, maybe not love <\/em>love, but he\u2019s got the hots for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cReally?\u201d This could work out to my advantage<\/em>, I thought. A relationship with Darrin could help me fit in even better. It wouldn\u2019t be difficult to emulate love or affection for him.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat are you thinking so hard about?\u201d Casey asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2014 kind of\u2014 have a thing for him, too,\u201d I lied, \u201cbut since he was married, I never, you know. How long should I wait to make a move? When the divorce is final? After a month? A year?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re kind of awkward about these things, huh?\u201d He stroked his mustache as if thinking hard. \u201cHow about you tell him how you feel, when he\u2019s sober, and let him decide? Or, you know, I\u2019ll probably tell him if I don\u2019t forget. It\u2019s too good not to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Casey began to get the look that the conversation had gone too far. Doing what I do well, I changed the subject. \u201cI just hope your advice is better than your loader skills.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFuck you! I told you I sneezed and bumped the joystick!\u201d He elbowed me. \u201cYou keep it up and I\u2019ll tell the front office about the time you dumped your load on the wrong pile, and we had to re-sort twelve tons of gravel.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I put up my hands in mock surrender. \u201cNo, I yield. You win!\u201d Of course, I had<\/em> dumped on the wrong pile once, on purpose. It was at the point I had calculated I should make a decently large error to enhance my \u201chumanness\u201d to my coworkers. I had also calculated it such that it wouldn\u2019t cost the company anything more than a couple hours labor to fix.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The evening ended after nine pitchers and several line dances. We finally stumbled out of the bar to waiting taxis and ride shares. I made a point of swaying as I said goodbye to everyone and was the last to leave. Rather than get a ride, I walked home. Without the need for sleep, I had many hours to myself each night and often spent them walking. I\u2019d have to pretend to sleep if I ever spent the night with Darrin, but that wouldn\u2019t be too troublesome\u2026 unless we moved in together at some point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monday morning was awkward for Darrin; I could tell. He barely looked my direction and didn\u2019t say anything to me except work-related things on the radio. I was set to find him at the start of the lunch break, when he found me instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCome on, Kat. Lunch is on me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gave him my best quizzical look. He just led me out to his truck in employee parking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI told the guys I lost a bet and owe you lunch,\u201d he finally said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI bet Casey knows better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe\u2019s a nosy son of a bitch, is what he is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We settled on fast food in the park. \u201cI just want to let you know I\u2019m interested,\u201d I told him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCasey said as much.\u201d He put down his half-eaten burger. \u201cI think you\u2019re pretty all right. You\u2019re a good operator. You\u2019re smart enough to be running the damn company, but you don\u2019t let it get you down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shrugged. \u201cIt\u2019s not my life, it\u2019s a job. It pays the bills.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve wanted you since you started; when I walked you through the quarry and showed you where everything was. It\u2019s not like I would\u2019ve done anything about it. I love my wife\u2026 loved<\/em> my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you need time,\u201d I said, \u201cyou\u2019ve got it. I\u2019m not in a hurry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat if it\u2019s just a rebound? I don\u2019t want it to get weird.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I let out what I judged to be an adequate quiet laugh. \u201cI don\u2019t get weird about anything, and you\u2019re already weird, so don\u2019t sweat it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m the weird one?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are. I like that, though.\u201d I put on a look of utter sincerity and met his eyes. \u201cIf you\u2019re worried about rebound, then go find one. Someone that you can just hook up with to get back on your feet. I won\u2019t judge, and I won\u2019t hold it against you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re the strangest woman I\u2019ve ever met.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy? Because I don\u2019t own you, and I won\u2019t feel jealous if you use someone else to get out of your funk?\u201d I stole a few of his fries, as a non-verbal signal of attraction. \u201cI\u2019d rather have you when you\u2019re telling dirty jokes and cutting donuts in the pit with the loader.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHey, is it okay if I call you tonight? Just to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, I\u2019d like that.\u201d I put on a shy smile with a faint blush. \u201cI\u2019m up late, so whenever.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ll do that.\u201d Darrin gathered all the trash, including his half-eaten burger, and tossed it in the garbage. \u201cLet\u2019s get back to work before the rumors get out of hand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cToo late,\u201d I reminded him, \u201cwe left Casey there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What does the most advanced AI in the world look like? Right now, like a woman flirting with her coworker who just became available. At least, that\u2019s what I look like on the outside.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

prompt: Write about an android just trying to blend in with their human companions…. available at Reedsy What does the most advanced artificial intelligence in the world look like? Like a five-foot-four, Chinese-American, human female …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[208],"tags":[210,228,209],"class_list":["post-2213","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-trunk-stories","tag-fiction","tag-science-fiction","tag-short-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pxT7i-zH","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2213"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2214,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2213\/revisions\/2214"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}