{"id":2382,"date":"2022-05-28T12:48:25","date_gmt":"2022-05-28T19:48:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/?p=2382"},"modified":"2022-05-28T12:48:25","modified_gmt":"2022-05-28T19:48:25","slug":"a-profoundly-unhappy-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/2022\/05\/28\/a-profoundly-unhappy-man\/","title":{"rendered":"A Profoundly Unhappy Man"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

prompt: Write about two neighbors who cannot stand each other.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

available at Reedsy<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Herman Fish Jr. was a profoundly unhappy man. Life had dealt him a poor hand, as he saw it, and it looked as though that wouldn\u2019t improve any time soon. The new neighbor was just another proof that life had singled him out for misery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The day Asha Hassan moved in, he\u2019d introduced himself and tried to welcome her to the complex, and she responded in a most rude manner. That was all he needed to know about her: rude. She was living in the apartment on the other side of the wall\u2026and she was there to make his life more of a hell than it already was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When he\u2019d first seen her, he was surprised. She was tall and thin, warm, reddish-brown skin with high cheekbones, deep brown eyes, and long, thick waves of black hair. She\u2019d been dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt, and when she spoke, her accent was so thick he could barely understand her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019d told him she was from Somalia, here to go to university, and that her American girlfriend was helping her move. He\u2019d expressed his genuine surprise that a woman from Africa as pretty as she, might be gay. She\u2019d gotten aggressive, finally cursing him in some foreign language.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before he knew it, the entire weekend had passed, and he\u2019d accomplished nothing beyond seething at the unfairness of his life and the rudeness of his new neighbor. When Monday morning rolled around, he made his way to his dull job in the bleak Department of Motor Vehicles. As if dealing with rude people at work wasn\u2019t enough, he\u2019d have to go home and possibly run into her again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lunch, like every workday, was a dismal sandwich from the deli across the street. They were always soggy by the time he got them back to the break room, and they always used too much mayonnaise. After scraping off half the mayonnaise and putting the sandwich back together, he choked it down with the sad, bitter coffee from the giant percolator in the break room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He watched the second hand on the clock, determined to not work any longer than he was paid for. At precisely 12:30, he returned to the crooked stool at his station and removed the \u201cOut to Lunch\u201d sign. \u201cNext,\u201d he said in a flat voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His week continued as normal, only seeing his rude neighbor on the rare occasion they were both in the hallway at the same time. He was glad he hadn\u2019t had to share an elevator with her, as the way she looked at him was as if he was something foul. For his part, he did his best to hide his dislike; after all, they had to live next to each other. She seemed to spend most of her time away, and was only at her apartment at night, alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monday of the second week after she moved in, Herman returned from his lunch of soggy sandwich and bitter coffee, and called out, \u201cNext.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh. Hello, Mr. Fish. I am needing a driving license.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Herman looked up to see her<\/em>. \u201cGreat\u2026just fantastic,\u201d he muttered under his breath. \u201cDo you have the form for the written test filled out?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asha pointed at the paper she\u2019d already laid on the counter. \u201cI hope our first meeting is not having an influence on this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He didn\u2019t answer, but took the form, checked it against her passport, and stamped it. He handed Asha a plastic tag with a number on it. \u201cTake this to the room over there and they\u2019ll get you started on your written test.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She opened her mouth to speak, but Herman was already droning out, \u201cNext.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not that he was paying particular attention, but he noticed that Asha had finished the written test in half the time allowed and had managed to get a slot for the driving portion of the test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While she was out doing the road test, there was a lull, and he found himself facing her girlfriend. She was a pale, pink-cheeked, five feet nothing of whippy muscle in a sleeveless shirt, short blonde hair, and intense green eyes that bored through him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can I help you?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLook, I don\u2019t know if you\u2019re racist, homophobic, or just stupid, but that was some fucked up shit you said to Asha last week. As if she didn\u2019t deal with enough of that shit at home, now she\u2019s afraid to be around you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat did I do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat did you\u2026ugh! Think about what you said!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI said she was pretty, was I wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou said she was too pretty and too African to be gay. Does that help you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI did no such thing!\u201d Herman cursed whatever fate had decided that this would be a horrid Monday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust\u2026try not to be such a dick around her.\u201d The girlfriend, whose name, Herman realized, he didn\u2019t know, stormed off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was fifteen minutes to closing when Asha\u2019s scores crossed his desk with the order for a new resident alien driver\u2019s license. Any normal day, he\u2019d tell them to come back the next day to pick it up, but he didn\u2019t want to anger the little blonde any further.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Herman heaved a sigh as he typed out the information for her new license, then called out, \u201cAsha Hassan to the camera\u2026please.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She stepped in front of the backdrop, standing on the X on the floor, and her smile dropped as soon as she saw him. He would normally have to tell them to stand on the X, remove their sunglasses or hat, try not to smile, and look directly at the camera. Asha was a pro. Of course, her passport was new, so she\u2019d done this not so long ago\u2026that\u2019s why she knew not to smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He focused the image on the computer\u2019s monitor. She really was pretty when she wasn\u2019t cursing him out. He hadn\u2019t seen her girlfriend look anything but angry, but he thought Asha could do better. Herman opened his mouth to say so, but he swallowed his comment with a sour frown. She\u2019d think I was insulting her or something<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ring light flashed, and the machine began printing her driver\u2019s license. \u201cI\u2019ll call you up when it\u2019s ready,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The machine was slow, and with the time it took to cool down it should have been shut down already. While the card printed and was overlaid with the holographic coating, Herman cleaned the camera and got his desk ready for closing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The card was ready with less than five minutes left in the day, and he\u2019d be forced to stay an extra ten minutes after closing until the machine was cool enough to be covered with the dust sheet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAsha Hassan to window three, please.\u201d There was no one else in the waiting room but Asha and her girlfriend and no clerks other than himself, but he was going to remain professional. He even went above and beyond by saying \u201cplease.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The two women stepped up to the counter, and he slid the card across to her. Her girlfriend stood on tiptoes to kiss her on the cheek. \u201cLet\u2019s go celebrate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They left without even thanking him for staying late. \u201cYou\u2019re welcome,\u201d he said to the empty room. \u201cTypical.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Herman\u2019s commute home took twenty minutes longer than normal. Staying late had put him in the midst of the worst of rush hour traffic. When he finally got home, it was too late to make something decent for dinner, so he settled for a can of soup. While he ate it, he wondered why the store was always out of the good soup whenever he shopped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After soup and getting ready for bed, Herman heard the elevator at the end of the hall ding. A moment later, he heard\u2026barely\u2026Asha\u2019s door being opened and shut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now she\u2019s sneaking around like a thief<\/em>, he thought, totally untrustworthy<\/em>. That annoyed him. Herman ignored the part of his brain that said he\u2019d be more annoyed if she\u2019d made more noise getting in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once the news had finished confirming his worst fears about the state of the world, Herman turned off the television. He heard a faint giggle from Asha\u2019s apartment. It didn\u2019t sound like she was in the living room which adjoined his, but probably in her bedroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He moved to his own bedroom and lay down. He couldn\u2019t hear anything else from the adjoining apartment, but his imagination wouldn\u2019t let him rest. Herman was certain the women were laughing at him; at how rude they\u2019d been and how they\u2019d made him stay late and get stuck in rush hour traffic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sleep was slow in coming, and fitful. Life, fate, whatever it was, had once again kicked him while he was down. Herman Fish Jr. was a profoundly unhappy man.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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