{"id":2606,"date":"2024-02-03T15:29:04","date_gmt":"2024-02-03T22:29:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/?p=2606"},"modified":"2024-02-03T15:29:04","modified_gmt":"2024-02-03T22:29:04","slug":"repair-and-replace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.evardsson.com\/blog\/2024\/02\/03\/repair-and-replace\/","title":{"rendered":"Repair and Replace"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

prompt: Write about a character who isn\u2019t nostalgic about their past at all, and show readers why.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

available at Reedsy<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I sat in the waiting room for my name to be called. My body was due for service months ago, but this was the first they could get me in. There wasn\u2019t much that needed to be done, I was sure, but maybe they could find out what was binding in my left shoulder, limiting some movement there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A technician opened the door, looked at me, back down at the pad she carried, and called out, \u201cAlexis?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I was alone in the waiting room, I knew she meant me. I stood. \u201cAlexi,\u201d I said, \u201cno ess on the end.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAh, sorry Alexi, I\u2019m Kendra and I\u2019ll be your body technician today. Right this way.\u201d She kept glancing at me as we walked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know that look,\u201d I said \u201cYou\u2019re trying to figure out why I don\u2019t look like a forty-year-old man. The same reason I\u2019m here for a service. I mean \u2014 do enough experiments on a kid, he never has a normal puberty, right? He ends up like me with a baby face, so people assume I\u2019m a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry, I\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t sweat it,\u201d I cut her off. \u201cI\u2019m just in a foul mood today and shouldn\u2019t be taking it out on you. I apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendra instructed me to strip and lie back on the exam table and began plugging in all the diagnostic equipment. \u201cAny specific complaints?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cReduced mobility in my left shoulder\u2026like something is binding in there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAny pain?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo more than usual,\u201d I told her. The constant, low-level pains that come from age and wear-and-tear had turned into little more than background noise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She spent some time going over the readouts of the machines before adjusting the table to where I could sit upright. \u201cYou probably already know, but your legs are well past their expected functionality, and long out of production. They\u2019re working for now, but if something would happen, we don\u2019t have any way to repair them. No parts available anymore. I would recommend replacement as soon as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, I figured. Might as well do that now. What about my shoulder?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLooks like part of the binding for the AC joint pulled loose at some point. We can pull that out, replace the AC joint binding, and that should restore full motion. Your clavicles, scapulae, and arms are still under extended warranty for another eight months, so we caught that just in time.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She took a breath, but I already knew what she was about to say, so I said it first. \u201cWhile we\u2019re doing the left, we might as well do the right, since we know the most likely failure point, now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendra gave a pleased nod. \u201cIt\u2019s nice to see someone take their maintenance seriously.\u201d She did some typing on her tablet then looked up at me. \u201cWe don\u2019t have the same model \u2014 of course \u2014 but we have the same manufacturer, if you wanted to keep things from being too different.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shrugged. \u201cDifferent is fine. How about whatever has the highest rating, longest service life, and best warranty?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of her eyebrows raised. \u201cThat would be the Nakimara Y-73, combat-rated. Do you still need\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve never needed<\/em> combat-rated, I just get them because they last longer. So, yeah, those.\u201d I couldn\u2019t quite read the expression on her face, but I guess she didn\u2019t expect to hear that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI thought, given your overall conditioning and the current limbs\u2026,\u201d she stopped and focused on entering the order in her pad. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t say in your record how you \u2014 I\u2019m sorry, I should shut up now. Oh, and the pelvis looks fine, no wear. Those Hendriks Titan-Steels seem to last forever, especially with the mil-grade number four standard socket.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t talk to others without a purpose \u2014 ordering at a diner or explaining symptoms to a body tech for instance. Then again, I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever met someone who made me want to. There was something about the way Kendra kept tripping over her own sincere concern and curiosity that made me think she was someone I could<\/em> open up to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She was interrupted by an orderly wheeling a cart into the room with a pair of legs and several bags of parts. She thanked them, closed the door, and prepped herself to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the table returned to a flat position, I said, \u201cYou\u2019re going to explode from trying to hold the question in. You want to know how I ended up with quad-replacements, including scapulae, clavicles, and pelvis, plus the spine and sternum reinforcements, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She had a momentary flash of stunned shock on her face, then relaxed. \u201cYeah, but if you don\u2019t want to talk about it, you don\u2019t have to. I can start working here, and we can talk about anything or nothing or I can shut up and let you rest. Your call.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wish I could handle memories the way I handle my cybernetics; repair and replace.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She cleaned all the areas she was going to work on, changing her gloves often. Then, she laid out the hermetically sealed legs and assorted parts in the order she\u2019d need them, along with the tools she\u2019d need. Each of the four areas she\u2019d be working on had their own, sealed tools lined up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In spite of how much this trip was going to cost me, I found my mood improving. \u201cHow do you feel about your childhood? Primary school, secondary school, family. all of that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had a pretty normal childhood, I guess.\u201d She unplugged the diagnostic leads from the ports on the inside of my thighs, sprayed a topical anesthetic around my hips, then proceeded to wash and glove up yet again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you ever find yourself thinking back on those times fondly?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendra smiled. \u201cI do. Especially secondary school, but time does that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoes what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She made a quick, clean incision where my skin and the synthetic skin met and peeled the synthetic down and away from the hip socket. \u201cBlurs the edges on things; the bad doesn\u2019t seem so bad, and the good seems better than it was, maybe. Rose-tinted glasses and all that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I heard my old leg drop onto the disposal cart and shook my head. \u201cI don\u2019t. I mean, I think about those times more than I would like, but never fondly. I don\u2019t think there\u2019re any rose-tinted glasses for me. More like shit-tinted, but even when I take them off and take an impartial look at my past, it was objectively shitty.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat does that have to do with\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m getting there.\u201d I let out a deep sigh. I hadn\u2019t talked about this with anyone in years\u2026ever since my last therapist gave up on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen I was six, my parents signed me up for a medical study being run by \u2018Dr. John\u2019 \u2014 I don\u2019t know what his real name was. They said the money would be set aside for my college. It didn\u2019t last the week that I was in the study.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat did they spend it on?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cProbably booze and drugs. I know it wasn\u2019t the rent because we got evicted right after that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kendra shook her head. I could tell she was trying to avoid the pity face, as most of us in the shop would have no desire to see that anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbout a month later, we moved into a nicer apartment, and they dropped me off for a month-long study with Dr. John. They didn\u2019t even pretend<\/em> the money was for me that time. I spent my seventh birthday there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOver the course of the next year, I was in study after study, until just before my eighth birthday. I was told that I\u2019d become too difficult to care for, and that my new home would be with Dr. John. It wasn\u2019t so much a home as a cage in a lab. I spent my entire childhood being poked and prodded, injected with questionable substances and hooked up to even more questionable devices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBy the time I was sixteen, it was obvious that I\u2019d never mature physically. Dr. John pumped me full of hormones, but I\u2019d developed \u2014 or always had \u2014 an insensitivity to them. This was followed with direct injections of some pale blue liquid into my bones, in an attempt to get them to mature, but they never fully did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had a couple growth spurts, put on a few inches, but my arms and legs, pelvis, scapulae, and so on were so weak and stunted, Dr. John decided I\u2019d be better off having them all replaced, then he beefed up my spine with the same sort of permanent supports you\u2019d use for severe scoliosis, and added a layer of poly-bone to my sternum to help protect my ribs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been outfitted with combat-grade cybernetics since I was seventeen, and Dr. John used to parade me around for defense department types to get them to buy into cybernetics for soldiers. He used to say he had treated me for a \u2018rare birth disorder\u2019 that required the extensive work, even though he caused all of it. My only birth disorder was the parents I was born to.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked up to see tears welling in Kendra\u2019s eyes as she was attaching the electronics in my new left leg. \u201cHey, I\u2019m sorry. I didn\u2019t mean to bring you down. I just thought that maybe you\u2019d understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand why your parents did that to you, but I think I understand why you don\u2019t put all that in your history when you come in for service.\u201d She wiped her eyes with her arm and chuckled. \u201cDon\u2019t want to get tears in there, the salt would corrode the connections.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She finished up the second leg and re-glued the skin to the synthetic. It would heal together in a week, long before the glue wore off. She sprayed the anesthetic on my shoulders and asked, \u201cHave you tried to contact your parents since then?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah. It was the first thing I did when I left Dr. John\u2019s. Found out my mother OD\u2019ed when I was ten, and my father drank himself to death a couple years after.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWatch your eyes. What about Dr. John?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe disappeared shortly after I left. The second thing I did was call the cops. By the time the cops got there, he was gone. Left all the equipment but took his experimental drugs and records.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what happened to the three younger kids that were there, and I wasn\u2019t right in my own head at the time to help them.\u201d I closed my eyes as she used the UV light to cure the new AC joint binding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were silent while she finished both shoulders, then had me sit up, move my arms and legs, and go through range of motion exercises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry all that happened to you,\u201d she said, \u201cand I hope someone catches that so-called doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I smiled at her. \u201cI hope it\u2019s me,\u201d I said. \u201cTo be honest with you, I haven\u2019t kept paying for combat-ready cybernetics just for how long they last.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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